Getting back to Pittsburgh reality now that last weekend’s Rickrolls are complete, let’s look at some news, shall we?
For those of you who only read the front page of the Post Gazette, you would have failed to notice page A-6. On page A-6 was an article letting people know that Obama was back in town to speak, or actually to listen, at Community College of Beaver County. Come on, PG! Hell, when supporters for Clinton were in town, they received front page treatment. At least try to maintain some semblance of objectiveness for the campaign and that you’re not a shill for the Clinton machine. Speaking of which, I haven’t added in articles for this past weekend due to inebriation but the campaign watch totals should be updated by tomorrow.
Pitt, in the wake of victory over Georgetown Saturday night is seeded Fourth in the South Bracket for the NCAA Tournament. So, being logistical, Pitt is headed south west to Denver this this Thursday. The end of the regular season was highly disappointing, especially against other Big East teams, but they played some great ball at Madison Square Garden. Let’s see if they can get past the Elite Eight this year. I’m having trouble finishing my bracket. I won my company’s pool last year… I’m hoping for a repeat.
I hate baseball, but the results of this poll should be wildly amusing. My prediction for the Pirates: 55-107.
Jason Bay is disappointed about the Pirates’ off-season moves.
“I kind of painted myself into a corner when I said last year that there needed to be some moves made, whether I was part of that or not,” Bay said at the team’s annual media luncheon at PNC Park. “And there were some moves, but probably not the type I was referring to. There was a lot of management and coaching moves. I still think there need to be player moves.”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Cultlord.com Upset about the Pirates’ Last Fifteen Years
I’m actually not going to waste time writing about it. I’ll let you shake your head at your computer or perhaps slam it against your desk in disappointment.
I’ll start with a quick note to Everyone: Pirate Fest is not to be confused with Talk Like a Pirate Day or His Noodly Appendage’s most precious followers: Pirates. As a result, I encourage Us all to dress like the Dread Pirate Roberts anyway and attend Pirate Fest in hopes that they may hit .500.
One of Our sources in the County offices has reported that Dan “Tax” Oronato has been overheard yelling at subordinates by phone from Europe and claiming he’ll never speak to Post Gazette reporters again after today’s article about how ill-prepared the county is to deal with pathological gamblers.
“If you don’t ask, you don’t know,” Dr. Engel said of the gambling problem, which is generally easier to conceal than other addictions.
Oronato was overheard mocking Dr. Engel while he spoke from his hotel room to no one in particular. “That’s exactly the point, Engel - keep them blind to the consequences. C’MON!” Other rumored quotes from Oronato include such gems as: “Dammit! We need the social security money from seniors to pay for public transit, hopefully they can’t read the small print of the Post Gazette.” and “Get me Luke and tell him we may need yet another revenue source and get me a list of things that we don’t tax or aren’t taxed enough”
Oronato was also reported to have Googled for information on how to put up a toll booth at the Pennsylvania / West Virginia border on interstate 79 to keep compulsive gamblers at the North Side’s casino. Barden has not returned any correspondence in regards to Our status with the soon-to-open-maybe-in-2009-but-probably-delayed-because-of-unforseen-idiocy casino.
As a reminder: Travel for Us to West Virginia is not recommended since opposition groups are still a danger to Us when traveling to the Casino. This was supposed to be settled at the Summit of 2004, however some rogue groups who live out of congregations of trailers continue to ignore its accord. I should not need remind You all the damage that buckshot can cause Your person and / or vehicle.
