Pittsburgh is getting a bioterror lab. They are just waiting for an upgrade for the water line, which hopefully should reduce the risk of bio-terrors from the Allegheny river.

We’d better start drinking. To make the new Oronato Tax remotely effective, Allegheny county would have to drink well over 150 million alcoholic beverages. I’m sure Steeler Nation could step it up a bit to make it easier. Especially to drown out the memories of last Saturday’s loss to Jacksonville.

Converted into poured liquor taxes, figuring the new 10 percent tax on a $2 bottle of beer, we’d have to drink 5,315,810 beers just to pick up the parachute tab for just this one retiree.

The Port Authority’s former CEO will additionally get $108,798 in retirement income from the Port Authority each year from 2005 until 2014. That’s another $1,087,980 — the tax on 5,439,900 more beers.

After 2014, the former CEO receives $102,798 every year for life. If he’s lucky enough to make it to 90, that’s $3,083,940 — the tax on another 15,419,700 beers.

We have our work cut out for us. Way to mis-manage, guys! The rest of the country now has a template on how to abuse the very people they serve in numerous ways.

Pittsburgh seniors will have to wait until May 2009 to dump their life savings and social security checks. This will not have an affect on Us since We have been pre-emptively banned from the casino. However, Those who live on the North Shore / Side may have increased traffic nightmares since our proposal for traffic prosperity was denied.

Fear-monger Pat Robertson has predicted more doom and gloom for the world in 2008 even after his prophesied nuclear attack of 2007 failed to happen.

“I also believe the Lord was saying by 2009, maybe 2010, there’s going to be a major stock market crash,” said Robertson, who is a millionaire businessman as well as an evangelical leader.

But don’t unload your portfolio just yet. Robertson acknowledged Wednesday that his prophecy of a nuclear terror attack in 2007 failed to unfold.

He also cited information from God when he predicted on a year go that major U.S. cities would be hit by “very serious terrorist attacks” causing “possibly millions” of deaths.

Perhaps Robertson should hide in a cave, inhale natural gas (or smoke some opium) and give long-term predictions. Look how well they worked for Nostradamus. I wrote Mr. Robertson in October of 2007 offering my own visions for what 2008 would bring Us as well as the rest of the world. Also if he would care to comment on the rise of the Twelve Tribes of Israel and their effect on Scientology and aliens. Mr. Robertson’s assistant replied that he was offended of our blasphemous words and that our Order was a threat to world peace.

I look forward to his prophecies in 2011 about 2012. Perhaps Mr. Robertson would like to make some predictions about Port Authority?