I have returned from my self-imposed exile after the Pens’ loss of Lord Stanley’s Cup to the Red Wings.  I wonder if Detroit fans know what the term “red wings” even means in this day’s nomenclature?  But that is not for Us to ponder at this moment.  Instead, We are to look to the future and further Our Cause.

My Children, if there is one thing I fear in this world it is a dissociative people.  A people removed so far from reality that time seems to stop, perhaps even run backwards.  A people who think that the laws of Nature and the Universe do not apply to them.  A people who think it is the norm to copulate or pretend to copulate while wearing cat ears and I, unfortunately, am not speaking of that hot brunette from last year’s Halloween party.  Meow indeed.

No, I am talking about a people who, in their everyday lives, pretend to live as animals.  A people who once again are invading Our city.

Furries.

Furries in Pittsburgh.

Again.

This is a problem.

Know your furry. You will not be able to see their eyes because of anthropomorphic masks, but their knuckles will be white with inner tension and their fur suits will be encrusted with semen from constantly having sex in public with other furries or from jacking off when they can’t find an animal rape victim.

June 26th to 29th will be Our official Hunting Season.  Please, do not confuse this with the Cougar Mating Season.  Again points will be awarded for quickness of kill, skinning ability, accuracy with your weapon of choice. The closer you get to becoming a professional, the closer you can get to the client.  Higher points will be awarded.  Yes, My Friends, the use of the Mace is encouraged.

It will be Our gift to the city to rid it of this infestation.