I hope someone gets to witness PETA set a giant chicken effigy on fire. If I wasn’t downtown at the moment, I would be there to capture this moment for Everyone. I’ve sent the former First Lady in for pictures. With any luck, I’ll have them by the time Fish Fry Season is over.
Pittsburgh - Waving a sign that reads, “KFC Tortures Chickens,” a giant “chicken” will set fire to a life-sized effigy of Colonel Sanders in front of a local KFC restaurant tomorrow.
We all know that PETA is an evil, psychotic organization, but their craziness and inane response to things is so comical that it’s the only reason they are not an Enemy of the Organization.
But, on the flip-side of things:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08038/855502-114.stm
A chicken feed additive containing arsenic and used to produce pinker, healthier, bigger-breasted birds could cause human disease, according to a study headed by a Duquesne University researcher.
The study is the first to link a human health risk to the feed additive that has been widely used since the 1960s by commercial chicken producers to control intestinal parasites, reduce stress, stimulate growth and improve the color of chicken meat.
Arsenic? Jesus Christ. Attention women who enjoy killing their men slowly over time: Just feed them lots of chicken.
Now, We are a pretentious Group, but We shouldn’t feel that way when we buy “organic” meats for these reasons.
A committee has looked independently into the allegations against member Beth Ann Chester and has thus made the recommendation she be excommunicated from the Order. As human sacrifice is generally frowned upon in South-Western Pennsylvania - as I was reminded on Saturday - we will instead hold a bonfire tonight and burn her effigy. This event is B.Y.O.B. as it will not be held at The Campus Bar. However, We will be pre-gaming there at 6 p.m. For the kids there will be a piñata. We will be serving appetizers and cake in the shape of a mobile phone.
Also in light of recent national news, the theme will no longer be Texas BBQ.
The Asshole Alert (please, stop calling it ASSCON in public, as that is reserved for Our Pittsburgh equivalent of the AVN awards) for Downtown as been lowered to 2. Today was the second time the Blue Dodge Caravan has been spotted in the last week. This time I witnessed the driver turn right on red (where clearly marked not to) and almost hit a pedestrian. This is in similar fashion as to my confrontation with the Blue Dodge Caravan last Spring. It is unclear if the same threat to “beat the cracker off of [them]” was made toward the pedestrian.
With the release of Charlie Wilson’s War, it’s nice to be vindicated in the thought that Julia Roberts is most certainly evil. I am pleased that she can now rightfully be held accountable for the rise of al-Qaeda and 9/11.
I can barely bring myself to comment on the travesty that was Saturday Night’s game. Jacksonville’s kick-off return for a touchdown should have been called back - the blatant push-in-the-back on Ike Taylor was overlooked. That was one of many. Also, nice phantom hold call, refs, on the two-point conversion. Referee bitching aside, it was an exciting game, much more so than any other Wildcard game. Here’s hoping Jacksonville knocks the Patriots off their pedestal.
Everyone is encouraged to wear their Jessica Simpson masks to any game they attend this weekend. We had a small, but faithful, contingent which drew many baffled looks on Saturday night.
