I don’t read fark.com too often, but every once in a while, a gem of a headline appears.

“Hillary sees her shadow in Pennsylvania. We can expect six more weeks of tired, pathetic campaigning”

Isn’t that the truth.

I couldn’t even watch her victory speech; it was very uncomfortable.  Not fingernails-on-the-chalkboard uncomfortable, but uncomfortable in the way when you are in public and you get to witness a parent beat their crying child in front of a downtown McDonald’s while waiting for the bus. Oh, and this happens at rush hour in front of 100 people who are all trying not to look.

I can’t wait to see what lows Hillary Clinton will stoop to next.  Perhaps she’ll claim that Obama just happened to be in a frame of a porn video like Terrel Owens (her campaign team will probably splice in the frame themselves - think Tyler Durden-style) Can Hillary Clinton get any more pathetic?  My answer is yes, but the question will be how.

The current queen of political spin thinks she has the lead… if you were to count Florida and Michigan.

“I’m very proud that as of today, I have received more votes by the people who have voted than anyone else,” Clinton said Wednesday, one day after her decisive win in Pennsylvania.

Not so fast, says Obama’s campaign. Clinton’s count includes her wins in Michigan and Florida, but the Democratic presidential candidates agreed not to campaign in those states because they violated party rules by scheduling their contests too early.

Oops.  She also tried to fool the media in stating that she raised $10 million dollars after her 9-point PA win on Tuesday.  The number is actually closer to $6 million.  I’m sure she is still in debt. Does anyone see a pattern here of lies and half-truths?   Clinton is just trying to sucker the remaining super delegates into pledging their support for her - will it work?  Well, if the super delegates are just as inept as the majority of central and western Pennsylvania, maybe.

I mean, people in Pennsylvania still believe that he’s Muslim (he’s not).   As if that or religion in general is supposed to play a part in politics.  Unfortunately, people believe in imaginary things and let their imaginary friends govern their life and choices.  Wake up.

So, someone over at 2 Political Junkies seems a bit upset that the Post-Gazette endorsed Obama.  Even though I think the endorsement is great, it’s still up to the individual to make up their own minds and not rely on who is endorsing whom.

An anonymous reponse:

“I know you’re obsessed with a woman becoming president. Mo Dowd was right. We could use a woman. Just not this one.”

Excellent point.  This country could use an awesome woman as president.  Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton is not that woman… nor is she awesome.

I agree with Bram R’s comments:

“When you follow some of the links, you provided, you only get to some news stories that describe in even greater detail why Clinton is the less preferable choice for office. And the quote you link to, above, seems to be just one random persons’ opinion, some of which are about issues I don’t recall even hearing in the campaign.

“I don’t hold Obama to super-high standards. I believe he has vastly superior political ability to Hillary Clinton. I also believe he has more often gotten it right in the clutch. And when you get down to it, the trouble he gets into is more often the result of his telling truths rather than falsehoods.”

I’ve refrained from commenting on Obama’s remarks last week - about guns and religions - but I have firsthand knowledge that the comments are, in fact, true.  I just have to look at a portion of my extended family.  While they may not all be bitter, they encompass the two things Obama mentioned. One of my extended family members is an avid reader and sender of Obama disinformation - one email sent just after this “gaffe” that Obama was out to take away guns and replace Christianity with Islam.

Now, yes, he could have phrased what he said in a much different tone; been a bit more savvy in his words; or perhaps explained why he picked those two specific things as examples to lessen the perceived “blow” to the citizens of Pennsylvania. However, that doesn’t mean that what he said isn’t true. It just goes with the saying, more people will forgive you for being wrong than they will for being correct.

Tom Ridge calls Obama’s comments a rookie mistake and that they show he’s not ready for the office.  This as opposed to all of the mistakes and misleadings Bush has made over the last eight years?

This week has been such a trainwreck in local government that I don’t even know where to start.

After he solved all other city problems, appeased the Hill District and came up with a quantum mechanics theory that would allow the Casino garage to co-exist with the Pittsburgh Skyline, boy-Mayor Ravenstahl threatened the city council. He then resorted to school-yard tactics when he was reported to have said, “My dad can beat up your dad.”  Nice to see that City Hall has turned into a sandbox that’s probably full of cat shit.  It’s just hard to figure out who on the council didn’t eat it.  My guess is Peduto didn’t eat it; perhaps Kraus didn’t either, but it was thrown at him:

“His exact words to me were, ‘We’re coming after you,’” Mr. Kraus said. “I said, ‘If you feel that best serves the interests of the people of Pittsburgh, to cripple city council, have at it.’”

Mr. Kraus added that the mayor specifically threatened to cut council staff salaries, and said, “‘And there’s more where that came from.’”

PittGirl compared the dialog to Under Siege 3 (there was a third?).  I think it was more comparable to Striking Distance.

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On the national scene, I’ve stopped counting how many articles there are for Obama and Clinton.  The Democratic Party side of things has become such a farce I don’t even want to read about it anymore.  I will say that Hillary Clinton is just grasping at straws at the moment.  Her credibility is shot, especially when you have Sinbad making fun of you.

“I made a mistake in describing it,” Mrs. Clinton told reporters yesterday. “We were very much told by the Secret Service and the military that we were going into a war zone, and we had to be conscious of that.

She said she ‘misspoke’.  The video showed her calmly walking out of the plane with her daughter right behind her. No sense of urgency or fear.  That’s not misspeaking, Clinton, that’s just flat-out lying.

So, what to do now?  let’s rehash what Obama respectively settled last week.  The Clinton Dog and Pony show.  Which one is Clinton, the dog or pony?

Hillary Clinton will be in Pittsburgh tomorrow to speak at Soldiers and Sailors.  She will also attend the parade. Ugh.  I’m looking forward to this about as much as I for the Maniac Magazine launch parties.

Now it is clear. We now know why boy-Mayor did not want Pittsburghers to be drinking out in public along the parade route.   He wants the yinzer mass contained to Market Square, well out of sight of the presidential hopeful whose campaign is also spiraling out of control into a mess of bigotry and nonsense. So, was it really Ravenstahl’s intention to make it more family-friendly or was it a higher calling to look good in front of a presidential candidate who, if elected, may drive more Pittsburghers to drink?

I bet she rides along side the mayor or the hated Onorato.  Onorato must not be allowed to converse with Clinton.  Onorato would get ideas for the county which he sees as spectacular, but will ultimately piss off the residents even further.  I would rather the woman who was grafted to a toilet for two years be in the parade than Clinton.  Interestingly enough, that’s where Clinton’s campaign is at the moment:  the toilet.

Why Clinton could not fire Ferraro and instead accepted her resignation is beyond comprehension.

I sincerely hope that Keith Olbermann will be the one to introduce Clinton tomorrow night.

Those of you still reading and want to see Clinton in action tomorrow, here are the details:

Join Hillary in Pittsburgh for a “Solutions for the American Economy” Rally!
When: Friday, March 14, 2008 at 3:30 PM -  6:30 PM

Where:
Soldiers and Sailors Hall
4141 5th Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA 15213

Peppi’s is using Chef’s Quality Ketchup. Wait… What? This is worse than when Max & Erma’s used Hunt’s. The package makes the ketchup feel runny. I’m looking for a Volunteer to try it.The image of the chef isn’t even Chef from South Park. If it was, I may have given it a try myself.

7-2 on Hillary Clinton crying within the next 48 hours. Even on that these tears make actually be real, but that depends on how well she handles herself against Obama in Thursday night’s debate. The latter may change so place your bets carefully. Obama has also won the support of the Teamsters. The good thing is if he does not win the nomination or the presidency, he can run the Tangier’s.

More girls are coming forward against the teenage boy who already stands accused of raping two others. This sounds familiar, probably because of the Law and Order: SVU episode which was on over the weekend, in which a sex-addicted boy rapes his teacher (Clarissa from Clarissa Explains it All), has sex with prostitutes, gets sent to some treatment center which is actually all about the game of grab-ass. At that facility, he’s raped by some older guy on the first night and the circle of life continues. The kid didn’t know he was supposed to beat the shit out of someone or shank them his first night. Serves him right for not taking cues from TV and movies.

Or this could be the Law and Order episode in which there is a group of guys who keep score of the girls with whom they sleep and video tape. Either one can be somewhat applicable.

Back to reality, if convicted, this kid should be made and eunuch.

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Dan Onorato’s pretending to have a sudden outbreak of common sense. Poker machines - who would have thought?

[I]n his meeting last week, Mr. Onorato echoed the sentiment of some tavern and bar owners — that the machines should be legalized, and the state, county and city could regulate their use, thus collecting revenue.

If this was the case, we could open up Our poker machines to the public to raise Awareness for our cause and possibly have more money within the Coffers upon which We can earn interest.

But will never happen. Why? Well, got to get it approved by the state first. I doubt they’d budge.

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Many of You asked me why we don’t allow asphyxiation or electrical play in the Nutcracker Suite. This is why.

Taylor then explained that he hooks clips to his wife’s nipples and “plugs the cord into a electric strip” and shocks her. On Wednesday evening, Taylor said, Kirsten removed her clothes, attached the clips, and shocked herself. He then picked up the electric strip and shocked her several more times, adding that he had placed a piece of electric tape over her mouth during the jolts. After the last shock, Kirsten, 29, “fell over on to her face.”

Also, this is why: The choking game has been America’s deadly secret gasping for official attention. Ahh yes, nothing like the euphoria of the lack of oxygen during my teenage years. Made even better during the physical act of love; loss of essence.

Stay out of the frickin’ Mon river!  If You’ve been in the Monongahela river since November of 2006, please report to The Campus’ decontamination chambers.

In Our crusade against insane lawsuits, this is the latest to pop up on the radar.  Instead of going after the man who caused the actual accident by running from police because he had a weapon and drugs in the car, they go after the ones with money.  While We should sympathize with the family, I don’t connect the dots between a traffic stop; a suspect then fleeing the police; suspect running red lights then slamming into another car and how it should fall on the burden of the city (taxpayers) and / or the police (taxpayers).  If the city and/or police do need to pay out, it just leaves room for Oronato to pull another tax out of his ass to cover the loss… or to pay for his bromantic trip to Europe with Luke.  I wonder if they’ll pose for pictures together at the Eiffel Tower.

Back to the bereaved, attorney Alan Perer unfortunately has the wrong mis-managed (possibly corrupt) institution in his sights.  Perer should instead be targeting Scientology.  Why?  Because Scientologists are the only ones who can help out at an accident.  Tom Cruise said it, it must be true!

“As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.” - The False Prophet Mapother

Why is Perer not holding them responsible? We have demanded answers, but Our repeated calls to his office have not been returned.

Now people have to deal with screaming kids and fat passengers encroaching on their personal space during flights, as well as idiot TSA workers at the airports, but now these unfortunate souls had to deal with Hillary Clinton and her mad-eye political rhetoric on their airplane.  Vegas to Reno is usually cat nap for travelers. To the right is a recent image of Clinton after the Black-hole Sun came to wash away the rain.

Next week, I will delve into more detail about my visit from my future-past self and what it means for all of Us and mankind.

Also, my new manuscript has been denied by yet another publisher.