Yes, these are late and with no good reason outside of the fact that well, I don’t have a good reason.

Dear Penguins:

You’ve been playing some brilliant hockey!  Keep it up!

Dear Sean Avery of the New York Rangers:

This serves you right for being a little shit on the ice.  I hope you try to talk shit from your hospital bed. Nobody in the NHL likes you; I doubt even your own teammates.  You should retire.

Dear Experts who say that wedding days are no piece of cake:

Really?  I had no idea. It’s only been documented since the beginning of time, in countless idiotic romantic comedies, sitcoms and other inane media. For some reason, there is an overbearing hype placed on having an elaborate and over-priced ceremony, reception and weight on what comes down to something that nobody but the bride and groom really care about. Especially those who have, well, four or five marriages in a lifetime.   Maybe the pressure comes from the bride’s mother since a small percentage of mothers live vicariously through their daughters.

And speaking of marriage…

Dear Sen. Vince Fumo, D-Philadelphia

Way to hit the crowd with some common sense.

Mr. Fumo railed back, calling those arguments ignorant.

“If two homosexuals are allowed to get married, is that going to affect your marriage? Your marriage is that weak you’re going to get a divorce over that?” he said to Philadelphian James Horn, a father of eight who testified in favor of the constitutional amendment.

Exactly.  But, unfortunately you then shot yourself in the foot by comparing the discrimination of homosexuals to the Jews of Nazi Germany.

“The majority of people in Germany did not accept Jews. Does that make it right that they exterminated them?”

Way to Godwin the argument.

Dear Mr. James Horn & other people who think they have the right to tell people how to live:

You have absolutely no common sense nor sense of self.  The fact that you allow your marriage to be defined by anything other than what’s between you and your wife is pathetic.  I feel sorry that you’re a sheep and allow your life to be determined by an unoriginal book that’s been told by word of mouth; translated (possibly mistranslated - by accident or on purpose); voted upon to decide what goes in it; and probably mis-interpreted by many to its actual message.  If the Bible said to drink the koolaid (or whatever variation), you probably would drink it without question.  Oh wait, you probably do with communion.

Dear Me:

I am still awaiting the first church to make world history due to poisoned communion wine.  Then we’ll find out if transubstantiation exists or not.

Dear Onorato:

Your Onorato Tax (or drink tax) is bringing in more money than expected.  Prove that you are not a sack of shit and return any money that was not projected to be needed by the Port Authority to the industry.  However, I, and many others, know you will not and I’m calling it now.

Dear Ravenstahl:

Just what the hell is this?  Way to follow in Onorato’s footsteps, proving what many already knew you to be - a pawn of special interests that leads you to betray the public in spectacular fashion.  I wonder if Bob O’Connor is now rolling in his grave.  If he is spinning fast enough, we should tap that energy source for the light-rail system to help cut down on the Port Authority’s costs.

Dear Port Authority:

I have now been on six buses with broken till boxes unable to accept dollar bills or coins.  And you want the public to bail you out.

Dear Allegheny County Bar & Restaurant Owners:

Normally I speak out against class-action lawsuits as most are idiotic and frivolous and really only benefit the attorney and / or law firm representing the victims or usually “victims” who never see a dime.  This may be one in which it would be of public benefit.

Dear President Bush:

Nice job on lying directly to the press yesterday - who then called you out on it immediately after - and trying to place blame on Democratic-controlled Congress (It was more the GOP’s fault).  Also you sounded like a damn fool.  You didn’t once think to maybe take some public speaking classes so you don’t stutter all over yourself while trying to think of a way to make it sound as if you were not lying?  You should take some lessons from Hillary Clinton.  And both you and Senator Clinton should get bent.

Tags: hockey, idiots, marriage

It’s not very often I feel some sort of sympathy for the flying rats of nature.  But having been shot with a blowgun during my teenage years, I can empathize with this fortunate little monster.

If I was to start eliminating the pigeon population of Pittsburgh, I would breed  peregrine falcons to do my bidding. I have thought long and hard about doing just this for the last eight or so years after seeing one of these grand predators of Pittsburgh’s skies catch a pigeon in mid-flight and tear it to pieces on a window sill of the Ewart building.

Or I would just use my cane.  One hit to the head would quickly cull the near brainless bird.

Several Seattle residents have called PETA in the past two weeks to report seeing three injured pigeons fluttering around with needle-like projectiles — about three to four inches long — piercing their heads, said Tori Perry, cruelty case worker for the Norfolk, Virginia-based organization. The birds were spotted on the 1400 block of Third Avenue and at the corner of Third Avenue and Union Street, she added.

The darts were fired from a blow gun, lodging directly behind the birds’ eyes without penetrating their brains, Perry said.

My question is, has PittGirl recently been to Seattle?  Also, why did the the shooter not tip the darts with rat poison?

Tags: blowguns, pigeons

I don’t read fark.com too often, but every once in a while, a gem of a headline appears.

“Hillary sees her shadow in Pennsylvania. We can expect six more weeks of tired, pathetic campaigning”

Isn’t that the truth.

I couldn’t even watch her victory speech; it was very uncomfortable.  Not fingernails-on-the-chalkboard uncomfortable, but uncomfortable in the way when you are in public and you get to witness a parent beat their crying child in front of a downtown McDonald’s while waiting for the bus. Oh, and this happens at rush hour in front of 100 people who are all trying not to look.

I can’t wait to see what lows Hillary Clinton will stoop to next.  Perhaps she’ll claim that Obama just happened to be in a frame of a porn video like Terrel Owens (her campaign team will probably splice in the frame themselves - think Tyler Durden-style) Can Hillary Clinton get any more pathetic?  My answer is yes, but the question will be how.

The current queen of political spin thinks she has the lead… if you were to count Florida and Michigan.

“I’m very proud that as of today, I have received more votes by the people who have voted than anyone else,” Clinton said Wednesday, one day after her decisive win in Pennsylvania.

Not so fast, says Obama’s campaign. Clinton’s count includes her wins in Michigan and Florida, but the Democratic presidential candidates agreed not to campaign in those states because they violated party rules by scheduling their contests too early.

Oops.  She also tried to fool the media in stating that she raised $10 million dollars after her 9-point PA win on Tuesday.  The number is actually closer to $6 million.  I’m sure she is still in debt. Does anyone see a pattern here of lies and half-truths?   Clinton is just trying to sucker the remaining super delegates into pledging their support for her - will it work?  Well, if the super delegates are just as inept as the majority of central and western Pennsylvania, maybe.

I mean, people in Pennsylvania still believe that he’s Muslim (he’s not).   As if that or religion in general is supposed to play a part in politics.  Unfortunately, people believe in imaginary things and let their imaginary friends govern their life and choices.  Wake up.

Tags: campaign watch, clinton

Some randomly good things usually happen on Wednesdays.

Today in history:

Harris Grill is finally reopening.

Penguins will sweep the Senators in game 4 tonight.

In case you forget how to get to the Harris Grill:

From Oakland: Forbes to Left onto Neville, cross Fifth and hang a right onto Ellsworth Avenue, also known as the Boulevard of Bitter Queens. Proceed past Aiken and Negley, then go slowly for a block or so with your windows down and head hanging out until you smell bacon. Vegetarians should omit the bacon sniff and instead concentrate on what tofu smells like.

From East Liberty: Penn Avenue past the guy selling scented oils and bootlegs to North Highland, Left across the bridge spanning the railroad tracks, then another quick left into the Rubicon parking lot — but be aware that once you’ve passed the Rubicon, there is no turning back! Hang the next two lefts onto Ellsworth then pass a bunch of artesian peckerwood shops and our favorite gay bar that’s so good they had to name it twice. You’ll see our patio on the right.

From Bloomfield and The Strip: Liberty Avenue through 267 lights, cross Baum, then pick a lane, any lane, and charge blindly across Center. Provide in-car gesticulation to offended drivers as required. Magically, Liberty becomes South Aiken. Three blocks, then left onto Ellsworth. Follow the latter part of the Oakland directions, above.

From the North, South, and West Hills: You can’t get here from there.

So, someone over at 2 Political Junkies seems a bit upset that the Post-Gazette endorsed Obama.  Even though I think the endorsement is great, it’s still up to the individual to make up their own minds and not rely on who is endorsing whom.

An anonymous reponse:

“I know you’re obsessed with a woman becoming president. Mo Dowd was right. We could use a woman. Just not this one.”

Excellent point.  This country could use an awesome woman as president.  Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton is not that woman… nor is she awesome.

I agree with Bram R’s comments:

“When you follow some of the links, you provided, you only get to some news stories that describe in even greater detail why Clinton is the less preferable choice for office. And the quote you link to, above, seems to be just one random persons’ opinion, some of which are about issues I don’t recall even hearing in the campaign.

“I don’t hold Obama to super-high standards. I believe he has vastly superior political ability to Hillary Clinton. I also believe he has more often gotten it right in the clutch. And when you get down to it, the trouble he gets into is more often the result of his telling truths rather than falsehoods.”

I’ve refrained from commenting on Obama’s remarks last week - about guns and religions - but I have firsthand knowledge that the comments are, in fact, true.  I just have to look at a portion of my extended family.  While they may not all be bitter, they encompass the two things Obama mentioned. One of my extended family members is an avid reader and sender of Obama disinformation - one email sent just after this “gaffe” that Obama was out to take away guns and replace Christianity with Islam.

Now, yes, he could have phrased what he said in a much different tone; been a bit more savvy in his words; or perhaps explained why he picked those two specific things as examples to lessen the perceived “blow” to the citizens of Pennsylvania. However, that doesn’t mean that what he said isn’t true. It just goes with the saying, more people will forgive you for being wrong than they will for being correct.

Tom Ridge calls Obama’s comments a rookie mistake and that they show he’s not ready for the office.  This as opposed to all of the mistakes and misleadings Bush has made over the last eight years?

Tags: bitchfest bickering mom make it stop, campaign watch, clinton, obama

This is unexpected, but pleasant.  I thought for sure the Post-Gazette was a Hillary Clinton shill… but I guess because Scaife (of the Pittsburgh Trib) all but knelt between Clinton’s legs when she was in Pittsburgh during  St. Patrick’s day weekend, the PG decided to go the opposite direction.

Pennsylvania — this encrusted, change-averse commonwealth where a state liquor monopoly holds on against all reason and where municipal fiefdoms shrink from sensible consolidation — needs to take a strong look at the new face and the new hope in this race. Because political business-as-usual is more likely to bring the usual disappointment for the Democrats this fall, the Post-Gazette endorses the nomination of Barack Obama, who has brought an excitement and an electricity to American politics not seen since the days of John F. Kennedy.

I’ll take it.

Tags: campaign watch, obama, post-gazette

Edit: as of about 3:00PM Eastern, Magoo’s Youtube account has been reinstated.  Victory.

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=uZr2zQ-Eiws 425 355]

from enturbulation.org:

Youtube is again censoring videos of Scientology critics. Tory Christman, former-Scientologist turned critic, has had her Youtube account suspended and videos removed due to “terms of use violations”.

If you’ve ever viewed one of her videos you probably have to ask, “is speaking out against Scientology now a ToS violation for Youtube?”

Apparently, so… this isn’t the first time a critic of the “Church” of Scientology has had their account suspended on Youtube. Previously, Emmy Award-winner Mark Bunker - also a long-time critic of the “Church” - had his account suspended, most likely due to efforts by the “church”.  Bunker’s videos have been since uploaded to Xenutv1.

How? Well, one can only guess, but the most logical reason is Scientology has been ordering their drones to flag / report videos and accounts of users who are critical of the church, most likely hiding behind their faux-religion status and crying wolf about hate speech.

Also, Youtube did continually bow to pressure from Scientology’s lawyers to remove the video of the Tom Cruise in his natural state. Youtube, sadly, didn’t take a page from Gawker’s playbook and claim that the video was newsworthy. Youtube also has previously removed (and later restored) videos by members of Anonymous which were posted to Youtube to galvanize protest support.

Censoring critics of information and religion? You’d think Google / Youtube would have a bit more backbone when it comes to things like this.

Even though this may in the short-term embolden Scientology, have they not learned anything over the last three months since this began? Do they know this will cause more backlash and critical talk about the “Church”?

Mark Bunker speaks about this:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVhYAOT0l14 425 355]

Tags: censorship, video, youtube

Someone asked what happened to the Post-Gazette Campaign Watch. Originally designed to keep track of who was getting more press in the Post-Gazette, Clinton or Obama, the Campaign Watch was derailed as the articles seemed to drift from the campaign of the Democratic candidates and start focusing instead on the recess activities of  Pittsburgh elementary schools.

T. Nowicki

Post-Gazette writers O’Toole, Carpenter and others seemed to haunt the playgrounds and designate kids as either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama and use their sound bytes as fodder for their articles. I no longer had any idea if I was reading an article about the candidates or a letter home to the parents of school kids.

This phenomenon was not localized only to Pittsburgh. The New York Times and Washington Post seemed to have plants in day care centers, waiting with tape recorders running to catch the latest wave of childish insults thrown; mistaking five-year olds for the presidential candidates.

Confused as to what exactly was going on, I decided to stop reading about the childish banter.  You’d think if the Post-Gazette could write about the Pittsburgh Pirates in a positive light, they might be able to do the same with the Democratic candidates, but I digress.

Too many articles written allowed the all-too-common game of “let’s quote the other out of context and make them sound like a monster” to continue and present it to the lazy, common person who is more likely to act like a sheep instead of researching things for themselves.  The majority of those who do research for themselves probably do not have the mental capacity to extrapolate what is going on in the campaign.  They instead fall victim and tell their friends / whoever will listen a sound byte that is taken out of context and used for their own nefarious purposes to further their own agenda.  Hence the vicious cycle of political banter.

It only took nine days for this project to reach its critical mass of idiocy.  Thank you, mainstream media.

Late edit:  Thank you Hillary Clinton for acting like a first grader throughout your campaign as well.  You, yes, you, Hillary have made it painful to watch.

Tags: bitchfest bickering mom make it stop, campaign watch

Apologies to all.

I had business to handle in Central America and was asked to give the eulogy at a old friend’s funeral.  The latter I never want to do again, unless I get to speak at some trashy celebrity’s funeral.  Though between all the retards that now fill the tabloids and are the coveted paycheck of the paparazzi (please don’t confuse this with the rat-infested restaurant in Pittsburgh’s South Side which I suspect uses a laxative-based dough for its late-night pizza) I have no idea who is going to drop dead first.

I will accept all suggestions.

However beginning this weekend, the Gatherings will resume their normal schedule.  I had scheduled a very special guest speaker in hopes to get in on the bid for a downtown LED sign advertisement (since there is obviously no stopping the monstrosities we might as well play along and use them to Our advantage) but due to a recent flap of his reputation and some other breaking news, I have canceled his invitation to speak.  Now We all knew what was going on, but one problem arose over the last couple of weeks: he was caught.

I bring presents from the families which We helped out in Nicaragua.   Due to Our efforts We may be able to begin work on a second chapter based in Central America.  The work of My grandmother forty years ago is set to continue as We work to assist families in Panama and Nicaragua and bring peace to the region. Our new chapter may be based in Coronado on the land once held by My family.  I am currently brokering deals with rival guerrilla groups as well as the Panamanian government.

I have also brought back some authentic beer from the area, donated by some of the affluent people with whom We will be working; it’s not crap like Corona or Modelo.  But a nice selection from the Cerveceria Baru brewery.  There will be a Tasting this Thursday before The Roots concert.

Tags: beer

Motomock is back.  Just a warning, they have painted strippers.  So, if you’re at work, they’re not hot enough to risk your job.  Wait til you get home.

Tags: moto, motomock