Just what the christ are these people on?

Some people want to have permanent tails attached.  Others want to have sex with animals.  They may be worse than Scientologists.

Don’t believe me?  Here are screenshots from actual furry forums.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/furry-forums.php

Here are some samples:

Jesus Christ!

Print & display this or one of the other posters (or all three) and you will help fulfill MATTHEW 24:14*

A magazine type cover-poster, to help fulfill prophecy simply print it and display it, naturally a print on a glossy paper is recommended.

To help fulfill prophecy:

1 Click on the image above.
2 Click on ALL SIZES
3 Right click on the image, select Save Image As…
4 Save image in an easy to find folder on your Hard disk…find the image and right click on it’s icon, select Print
5 Or you can choose to select Download the Large size…and do as in step 4 to print it. Happy displaying!

*MATTHEW 24:14: “This Gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations…”

She is also a master home decorator.

You can adorn your walls this way

This is inside the home of a leading fashion designer who chooses to adorn his walls this way, the Christian way.

Very interesting.  I would love to get a hot super Christian girl in bed and then point to Jesus on the wall and tell her that the Son of God is watching and disapproves of pre-marital sex.  Hello Catholic Guilt.

I decided on seeing this haphazard skulduggery to email her and clarify her intentions on befriending me on Flickr.  I mean, We don’t necessarily want any lost sheep roaming around spreading false hope and misinformation when she would be welcomed with open arms to Our Congregation.

——-
From: CultLord
To: Bible Thumper
Sub: Who are you?

Jesus wasn’t a white guy.  I doubt any Hebrews were.

Paul’s letters to the Corinthians (15:26) plagiarized J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

We have Our own thing going on over here, you should join Us and seek illumination.

I also wonder, if by posting this here, if I am helping perpetuate this so-called prophecy.

Two single mothers in the US are facing numerous charges after a sleepover including six teenage boys allegedly turned into a sex party.

Boys aged 14 to 16 were attending a sleepover at Lynne Long’s Pennsylvania home when Angela Honeycutt, the mother of two children, allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old boy and performed sex acts on a 15-year-old, local TV station CBS3 reports.

Those poor children.

These are not Cougars.  Understand this, Cougars are attractive.

If they use this as bragging rights at school, their testicles should be handed in.

An asteroid that orbits the sun between Mars and Jupiter officially has been named 7835 Myroncope in honor of legendary Steelers broadcaster Myron Cope, who died Feb. 27.

The name, proposed in March by Dr. Eric Mamajek of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics in Cambridge, Mass., became official late last month after approval by the International Astronomical Union.

My Children, if there is one thing I fear in this world it is a dissociative people.  A people removed so far from reality that time seems to stop, perhaps even run backwards.  A people who think that the laws of Nature and the Universe do not apply to them.  A people who think it is the norm to copulate or pretend to copulate while wearing cat ears and I, unfortunately, am not speaking of that hot brunette from last year’s Halloween party.  Meow indeed.

No, I am talking about a people who, in their everyday lives, pretend to live as animals.  A people who once again are invading Our city.

Furries.

Furries in Pittsburgh.

Again.

This is a problem.

Know your furry. You will not be able to see their eyes because of anthropomorphic masks, but their knuckles will be white with inner tension and their fur suits will be encrusted with semen from constantly having sex in public with other furries or from jacking off when they can’t find an animal rape victim.

June 26th to 29th will be Our official Hunting Season.  Please, do not confuse this with the Cougar Mating Season.  Again points will be awarded for quickness of kill, skinning ability, accuracy with your weapon of choice. The closer you get to becoming a professional, the closer you can get to the client.  Higher points will be awarded.  Yes, My Friends, the use of the Mace is encouraged.

It will be Our gift to the city to rid it of this infestation.

But he nodded in approval to allow one of his dedicated followers to announce, now that Barack Obama has clinched enough delegates, that Hillary Clinton is officially America’s Psycho Ex-Girlfriend.

At The Campus there will be cake as we celebrate the

And watch the Penguins dispatch the Red Wings and force Game 7.

I must report a massive win for Our Congregation.

But, first: Your obligatory back story.  For years when The Campus was located south of the Liberty Tubes many of Us who rely on Port Authority would have to face the inevitable “Smithfield Wait” as idiots would clog up the intersection of Smithfield and Boulevard of the Allies.  This, often during rush hour and other peak traffic times, would create the Sea of Exhaust as the line of buses would be viewable from my office window all the way down to 6th Avenue.  One dreary winter day I decided to take a pilgrimage (please, do not confuse this with the Hajj) down to 6th, took a left and continued down 6th to Wood and then turning left again on to Wood.  Wood was then backed up with buses all the way to halfway between 5th and Forbes.

Shit.  This was on a Friday. People wanted to get home, out of the cold and start drinking the memories of the work week away.  But they couldn’t. Why? Because of asshole drivers (which were recently called the most courteous) turning right and /or left on red and blocking the buses from making any forward progress.

Some bus drivers would attempt to subvert this behavior by pulling up only as far as they needed and hold back some of the flow from the Boulevard - which usually resulted in drivers attempting to pass the bus or pulling directly behind it and usually blocking traffic on the Boulevard - gridlock.

I, personally, wrote several letters over the years to the City, County and Port Authority - along with pictures - suggesting that during rush hour (4pm to 7pm) that the single lane of Smithfield south-bound between Boulevard and Fort Pitt be a HOV / Bus only lane in hopes that I may get home in timely manner and not be compelled to wait in the cold or rain as my bus was delayed by assholes.

It seems they finally were seen by someone or someone in a position of power finally had a moment of clarity or common sense and took some action.

They, took it one step further and made it Buses only, all the time last Thursday or Friday.  Now, considering I work in this little, but heavily trafficked corridor of Smithfield it kind of sucks, but for the higher purpose it servers I am thankful.

Checking from the otherside of the street:

Lenny: George, what are these orange barriers? Are they for the rabbits, George?
George: No, Lenny, those are there to stop drivers from turning left.
Lenny: Shame, I thought they were for the rabbits. Wait, that guy just turned left and almost hit that guy. You said they couldn’t turn here, what if that guy walking was a rabbit and hit him?

note: there was someone who walked across the street, was almost hit and had to run to avoid this stupid-looking SUV.  He is behind it in this picture - also take notice of the car all the way to the left:

because there they are!

However, I have yet to see one driver get pulled for turning here.  Where are the officers that are so trigger happy to ticket drivers when it comes to any other part of the Smithfield Bus Lane?  Perhaps they haven’t yet received the memo about the changes to this intersection.

With one of Our goals for 2008 finally out of the way, We can focus on getting the entire Bush Administration charged by the Hague for War Crimes.  That is more of a 2009 goal as Congress doesn’t have the balls to Impeach Bush or Cheney.

Take for instance My driving experience last night. I’m behind a vintage blue Toyota Corolla with the driver cruising along Ellsworth at a brisk fifteen miles per hour while approaching a light that just turned green.  However, by the time we actually reached the light it was back to red.  There’s no excuse for this madness.

Later, I’m behind a car on one of Pittsburgh’s many one way streets approaching a light.  The driver in front of me signals (far ahead of the light) that they are going to turn left and in a move which is bereft of common sense: the drivers moves all the way over to the RIGHT then angles the car back to the LEFT.  Why is this a problem? Well, because I wanted to make a legal right turn on red.

The driver in front of me seemed genuinely confused as to why I shouted out my window that they were a clueless asshole and should have their license suspended until their common sense skills develop.  Considering this person was easily in their forties, I don’t think they should hold much hope.  However, the situation did have the benefit of providing some amusement for the people waiting at the bus stop.

So I usually will take the bus to not increase my blood pressure - but then there’s the problem of mass transit in general.  I have a new solution to the Port Authority’s blood letting-like practive of hemoraging money:  follow what the airlines do when it comes to extra large passengers - charge them double.  I don’t need to be pressed against the window of the bus (who knows what germs are present from the crappin’ kids that are brought on by their parents or the other people who fail to bathe daily :shudder:

Charging them double the fare would raise money for the Port Auth and also motivate people to lose weight and get in shape. It’s win-win! Why are we not doing this?  I will tell you why: The extra-large people can easily manipulate matter (read: Me) with their extra-large hands and force other passengers through the window when it’s suggested, under one’s breath, that they should go pay another $2 dollars to ride the bus. How he heard me over his labored breathing I cannot answer.

Big Guy (bg): [ encroaching on my space ]
BG: [ labored breathing ]
CL (under my breath): Port Authority should take a hint from the airlines and charge some people double
BG: The airlines can only get away with that because most people cannot fit through the oval-shaped window when thrown.
CL: Touche [ I hate this term, but it is fitting ]
BG: [ more labored breathing ]

I’ll give him credit for that.  Would I be the only one who is disappointed that the labored breathing is not in a manner like Darth Vader? I guess it’s a blessing in disguise since he could have then force-pushed me out the window or force-choked me and no one would be the wiser.

I also almost missed my stop (usually people are chasing the bus to get on, very rarely are they hindered from getting off the bus) because said large passenger CANNOT GET OUT OF THE SEAT.  I held my tongue even though it was tempting to say, “I’ve scaled Everest, I think I can scale you to get off the bus.”

All that he was missing was an oxygen tank and a motorized kart.

A man injured in a Downtown fire yesterday died this morning at UPMC Mercy Hospital.

The medical examiner’s office said Richard Piotrowski, 62, was pronounced dead at 5:17 a.m. at Mercy’s burn unit.

He was hurt when a blaze broke out about 7 a.m. yesterday at the Roosevelt Arms apartments on Penn Avenue. Police said he was smoking while using oxygen.

Oxygen is flammable.  Oxygen is what allows fire to burn - your charcoal grill wouldn’t work without it this summer - or in summer’s past as this isn’t a new revelation.

So, what dumbasses think it’s a good idea to smoke while hooked up to an oxygen tank.  It really is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Thankfully it didn’t happen on a street corner where it might have taken out parents who beat their crying kids while waiting for the bus. God forbid… actually wait, Einstein wrote in a letter (which is up for auction) that religion and people looking for a god-like figure is “childish”.

In the letter, he states: “The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this.”

Einstein, who was Jewish and who declined an offer to be the state of Israel’s second president, also rejected the idea that the Jews are God’s favoured people.

“For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything ‘chosen’ about them.”

But this is not and has never been a secret…

It was hard to be an atheist before The Origin of Species. Einstein is the only member of your list who was born into the post-Darwinian world, and it is no accident that he was also the only one who didn’t believe in God. He declared: “It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. “

But to call it childish is just plain awesome. If only the head-technology of Futurama was around to reanimate Einstein and Carl Sagan… life might be a bit more interesting.

And since there is no god.  You should pray to Me.

People like Mary Beth Jester

“I want to see a woman in there before I see a . . . ” She stopped, and her sister finished the sentence with: “a man of color.”

Let me adjust my monocle.

Way to be with the times, Mary Beth Jester.