Timothy Anderson didn’t get away with any cash from his attempted robbery of a Dormont Eat ‘n’ Park because he forgot that he needed Honey Bunny.

Due to the fact that I have decided that Onorato, Harrisburg and the Port Authority will be perpetually stupid, unless something miraculous happens, I will no longer comment on the Onorato drink tax.

Harrisburg and Onorato: As elected officials and having four-plus years to deal with the stupid mis-management of the Port Authority, they have failed and will continue to do so, claiming their hands are tied instead of looking for alternative solutions.  Onorato should be ashamed for pitting industry vs. homeowners.  But, he’s obviously learning from Clinton how to posture himself politically.

Port Authority:  Well, it’s hard to undo decades of incompetence and bureaucracy.  The fact that many have been appointed by Onorato… well, the Port Authority is now just an extension of him.

Even though I’m for the cutting / eliminating of taxes, I don’t agree that Clinton (or McCain’s plan) is well-thoughtout enough to actually make an impact.  Removing the $0.18 federal tax from gasoline for three months only to put it back into effect in September?  Say I have a ten-gallon gas tank that I fill up once a week - current cost is about $35 dollars / week.  Remove the $0.18 and I save $1.80 / week.  Over 12 weeks I would save $21.80.  Meanwhile, we’d have to put our faith in the oil industry for the money to repair roads and bridges.  Hell, when we can barely maintain the terrible conditions that Pennsylvania’s roads are in, this doesn’t sound like a good idea.

At the same time, this is just pandering.  An empty promise. Will anything actually be done about this before the Summer vacation season starts?  It is three weeks away.  This is just an empty promise by Clinton that actually borders on a bald-face lie.  The fact that people even listen to this nonsense is sad.  Especially when they will not even check the facts themselves or that of economists who actually know what they’re talking about.  Even the Bill Clinton’s former adviser Robert Reich spoke out against this idiocy.

“The gas tax holiday is small potatoes relative to everything else. But it’s so economically stupid (it would increase demand for gas and cause prices to rise, eliminating any benefit to consumers while costing the Treasury more than $9 billion, and generate more pollution) and silly (even if she won, HRC won’t be president this summer) as to be worrisome. That HRC now says she doesn’t care that what economists think is even more troubling.”

What does this mean for Us?  Well, We may have to reduce the number of field trips held this summer.  Instead of weekly field trips, We may have to go every other week instead.

Also, Our trip to India to toss babies off of a ledge for luck has also been put on hold.  We may be able to do this locally.

“The Chinese government said Sunday that formerly restive areas were under control and accused the Dalai Lama of trying to harm China’s image ahead of the summer games.”

Yeah, I don’t think China’s image is something of which they should really be proud.  But we all better be careful… they could unlease their weather dominator against the rest of the world.

The PA Legislature is at it a-fuckin-gain… This is also a bit old (not really) and something I haven’t been able to write as concisely as the PGH Comet just has.  Let me sum up my thoughts on the recent incarnation of PA’s idiotic attempt to define marriage:

It’s like PA is now getting sloppy santorum seconds from someone whom I now call Santorum Jr. (I’m not sure whose bright idea this was this time around (Boyd? Gordner?), the idea is unfortunately not new - 2006 was the latest attempt at this.  I’m willing to bet the 17 co-sponsors just held a big gangbang for the bill and there’s plenty of santorum to go around the house floor. I would hate to be the custodial staff of the Senate Judiciary Committee)

Why are people so closed-minded and bigoted toward this? It doesn’t affect them one bit. It’s like they think their marriage is going to be suddenly worth less.

Hello? Most marriages are worthless. It’s hypocrisy at its finest example (who knows, maybe one of the co-sponsors has had an affair or may be another Larry Craig in hiding).  Marriage doesn’t make people stick out tough times more than being not married - a story with which I’m well familiar.

It basically is constitutionally-protected discrimination.

All of their arguments are closed-minded and based on bigotry and / or fear; their own insecurities of some people being just plain different; they go and hide behind religion and morality.  The Comet goes on to trash that hiding spot.

I’d like to also argue that this is primarily the conservative / christian-right that goes on to pervert its sense of purpose of imposing its will on the populace.  The problem here, as the Comet points out, is separation of church and state.  Something many people do not, cannot or flat out refuse to understand.

People fear the “radical muslims” because of their overt tactics. And well we should, but we should also fear the subtle and subversive indocrination of the radical religious-right that spreads the same fear possibly causing more damage over generations of time.   They spread FUD (fear, uncertaintly, doubt) mistrust, hate under a mask of love and peace.  It’s disgusting.  If Pat Robertson’s true self were to be unleashed, I don’t doubt he would engage in a Holy Crusade.  I wonder how dangerous Fred Phelps or Robertson would have been had they grown up under some of the fanaticism in the mid-east.

Luke ruined the party for everybody.  Because the city has a stick up its ass, drinking outdoors - one of the only reasons to even go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade - has been limited to Crackhead Market Square and only between the hours of 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. in hopes to make it more “family friendly”.

Today, Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl announced a plan that keeps boozing indoors to make the event safe and more family friendly.

The city’s lax open-container policy is a thing of the past.

I’m sure the Mayor is just worried about getting too drunk himself and having another run-in with the police.

Ah well, there are better places to be than fighting traffic to get downtown.  And what better place than Claddaugh Irish Pub (South Side Works) to see the PG’s Bill Toland get his head shaved.  He’s even raised his goal twice from the initial $1,000 to $2,000 and beat the goal.

Today in the Post-Gazette, in stead of solving city problems, figuring out how to unfuck itself, they are having the all-important hearing about Lamar’s ridiculous LED billboard which may be put at the corner of Liberty and Grant and thus becoming a distracting blight on the downtown landscape.

I’m really hoping this falls through.  I’m also hoping that someone, somewhere will hack into this thing and flash Goatse to the unsuspecting public.  That would be the only reason to put up such a terrible thing in the city would be to scare the public with a distended anus.

Again, it comes down to public process:

Members of the administration repeated their arguments today that no public process was required because the city has established a precedent of allowing Lamar to replace multiple vinyl billboards with smaller LED signs.

Most members of the public would probably prefer there to be no billboard signs anywhere at all. And this is where representative democracy fails for the most part.  I don’t know one councilman who discussed this “public” matter with any of their constituents.  Most probably just saw $$$.  Even the mayor.

“Whatever needs to be done, we’ll do,” Mr. Ravenstahl said, minutes before the start of today’s council hearing on the billboard. “We feel that we acted appropriately. If, for whatever reason, we have to go back through the [Zoning Board of Adjustment], for example, that’s something I’d be comfortable with and fine with.”

Luke, stop ending your sentences with prepositions.  You sound like a damn fool.

Councilman Patrick Dowd objected to the interrogatory tone of parts of the meeting. “This feels like we’re playing attorneys on television,” he said.

This is when, unexpectedly, Lenny Briscoe entered the room wielding a katana and challenged Councilman Dowd to a duel.

Dowd backed down and Briscoe said,”Yet another one cowed by my mere presence.”

Today’s City Paper has an article about Luke wanting to peer into our every day lives on the street.  Ravenstahl is upset because London already has “Ring of Steel” trademarked for their remarkable 10,000 CCTV system.  However, “Camera Curtain” is still on the table.

Luke thinks things like this happen all the time on the Streets of Pittsburgh:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgzDovpCTuQ 425 355]

Corporation logos and / or names on city high rises are bad enough. We’ve discussed this before. Now they want more of those god-awful LED billboards downtown.  If the way this bypassed everything isn’t some back-room dealing, I’m not sure what is.  Unfortunately due to the totalitarian media handling that is currently being imposed, Our source wasn’t able to get any reliable information on just how this happened.

[T]he authority asked the city zoning office for permission to put a 20-foot-by-60-foot LED advertising sign on the garage side facing Grant Street. The bottom of the sign would sit 32 feet above street level. Zoning administrator Susan Tymoczko approved it a week later.

City code normally would demand a zoning board review of a sign that, Mr. Ford confirms, is far larger than anything that had previously been on that site.

I bet they blame the hassles they’ve been having with the Hill District / Pens Arena and Casino and this was an “oversight”.

John DeSantis, executive director of the Duquesne Light Home & Garden Show, which will occupy the convention center next month, noted that city officials have long sought to turn Grant Street into a regal thoroughfare.

“If the culmination of this grand boulevard is this lighted, digital billboard, what did you go and spend all of that money for?”

Well, Mr. DeSantis, you must ask yourself: Why would this administration break the Pittsburgh trend of doing everything half-assed?

Thankfully, today, there was a sighting of common sense and the Council will review the LED billboard.

Pittsburgh City Council President Doug Shields said today that council will review a decision by city planners to permit a 1,200-square-foot LED sign on a Downtown garage and bus station that’s still under construction.

Unfortunately, Shields is for the billboard.  Why? Why? Why?  Oh, yeah, the money.

<read in Lewis Black’s voice>
I absolutely hate these electronic billboards that are slowly showing up around the city.  Now, not only do We have to deal with idiots lost downtown that are talking on their mobile phones, but now downtown drivers (We) will have to suffer the idiots that sit there, ignoring the light, because they’re looking at the pretty colors.

You are asking, “what kind of ads will we see?”  Edgar Snyder has already bought two years worth of ad rotation, he also just renewed his television commercial contract for 20 new commercials over the next seven years.  It’s bad enough that because of Snyder’s commercials my two-year old nephew already thinks he is his grandfather.

Next will be Zales or Kay jewelers.  At least they can’t play any music or sounds. “Hey, retarded men, go to Jared and be completely unoriginal this Valentine’s Day - we have blood diamonds for thirty percent off!  Remember, the more you spend on her the more she knows you love her!”
</read in Lewis Black’s voice>

Sheep.  All of them sheep!