I think the fluctuation of the temperature over the last month or so has many knocked way off center.

Dear The Garage Door Saloon: Wetback Wednesdays? Seriously?

The Garage Door Saloon on Atwood Street is catching some flak for a sign advertising its midweek special: “Wetback Wednesday.”

The special nets you five Coronitas for $7 and 75-cent tacos.

Somehow I don’t think you thought your cunning marketing scheme through properly. Well, considering the bar occupies former “great” bars like Cumpie’s (which was raided more times than I could possibly remember while at Pitt) this isn’t surprising. This is almost as well thought out name as Operation Wetback. Who came up with that? Oh, the U.S. Government.

Dear Nightwire:

Your content is irrelevant and worth less than the bad paper on which it is printed. The recycled jokes from email forwards in 1997 need to go. You also probably paid for them as well. But what can we expect from a re-vamped former stripper magazine.

Dear Lux:

“I have no actual content or reason for being in existence other than to sell businesses advertising in my made-for-midget-sized magazine that will then be left on random tables anonymously at perceived trendy bars and establishments around town.”

[CL Note: Don't confuse Lux with Luxx on Carson Street]

Dear Maniac Magazine:

See letter to Lux (above). Fifteen pages of content and sixty-four of ads and photos (most of which are terrible and worthless). You have a great selling point. Your Haute List (nice lifting the name from the NY Post), considering the fact that your magazine tends to be two months behind is, well, two months behind. Also, pandering to the Pittsburghers who live vicariously through photos of people at events held, you guessed it, two months ago is hardly relevant. It’s even worse when the photographers hired don’t know how to use a flash. I had high hopes. I am… disappointed. You should focus on the future, not interviewing sugar daddies.

Dear Trib P.M.:

Thank you for the daily sudoku! You may not have known this, but Ananova.com is not a reputable news source. It’s almost a tabloid of a news source. Oh wait, I guess that fits considering many think of the Trib as a tabloid of Pittsburgh. You might as well get your news from Fark.com.

Dear Whirl:

I didn’t really think there was a market for a magazine full of old people at charity benefits. My parents are going to the Bon Jovi concert, maybe they’d like your magazine.

Dear Pittsburgh City Paper:

The Hill is still angry. Maybe Chris Potter should write more articles about that!

Dear Ray Nagin:

You may be a vagina-friendly mayor, but Elliot Spitzer just out played you; he’s one of the first vagina-friendly governors. Bill Clinton has you both beat.

Tags: vagina-friendly

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