Ladies and Gentleman, contrary to current popular and rampant rumor, J.J. Walker has not left the Congregation.  Unlike our enemy in the dangerous cult that is Scientology, It would surprise me greatly if anyone would want to leave Us;  to actually leave My presence is unfathomable.   Ladies and Gentleman, J.J. Walker has not left the Congregation because, unfortunately, he was never part of It.

Several of You have asked me personally how We are different from the creepiness that is Scientology.  Well, for one, You are not led by David Miscavige, a creepy asthmatic midget with a Napoleon complex.  Miscavige’s power is also an illusion.  There are men and women in the shadows who actually out-rank him and hold the power.  Do you really think a tenth grade dropout would have the knowledge or ability to stage a coup and retain power?  He is not debonair like I am.  Miscavige’s abused underlings have been leaving in droves as he spends too much time polishing Tom Cruise’s balls.  The fleshy thing that’s attached near them, he mistakes for a garden hose.

But enough about the asthmatic midget.   How do I differ?

I lead through love.  Not fear.  I command respect, but with love.  I may induce fear, but that’s only a result of not believing in my love.  We embark on this Great Adventure together, as one, with peace as Our ally and Wit and Sarcasm as Our Weapon.

We expose those who are against Us as We protect the weak, the ones unable to help themselves.  For in Righteousness, We find Peace.  And in peace We are able to exterminate those who are against Us.  We silently judge those around Us and take notes.

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