What could possibly go wrong with shooting down a failed U.S. spy satellite? Where is Reagan’s “Star Wars” laser defense system? I mean, the Chinese already have the Our Weather Dominator (Ok, the government dropped the ball on that when they did not take Our requests for help seriously in recovering the stolen plans). We’re falling behind! China’s just banned ghosts from the internet, and Senator Spector’s plea to reinstate the Ghostbusters is meeting resistance from the White House.
After solving many of the world’s and its own problems, the Diocese of Pittsburgh has released radio advertisements saying what a great place St. Vincent’s College is because of their state-of-the-art porn filter. Yes, Catholicism lives up to its reputation of repressing sexuality since 107AD. Yeah, that’s the way to attract students. This was reported last month I guess. But some good of it came about, collegehumor.com is blocked. I do not think the Catholics should be the Morality Police. They can pretend to be, like when We were kids and would play Crocodile Dundee and Rico the drug dealer.
I’m finding the only time I ever listen to the radio is for Steelers or Penguins games. Sometimes I wake up to the radio to the same five songs. Radio giant Clear Channel is settling for $22 million dollars for the Great White fire that roasted 100 people alive. Unfortunately, Clear Channel does not have to closeup shop nor does it have to stop promoting terrible music. My letters to The Hague to have Clear Channel brass charged with crimes against humanity have not been answered.
The Office looks like it will return on April 10th. We can all relax for a moment before realizing Harris Goldberg, writer of Duece Bigalow: Male Gigolo (the title itself doesn’t deserve to be properly notated, add that to the actual content of the movie…), is also receiving calls. Hollywood must be desperate.
O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend Christie Prody was hospitalized in Miami Monday for what police are calling a “severe head injury,” “Entertainment Tonight” reported.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Christie!
And for the rest of you: Radio Station is giving away free divorce!
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