Search for the Heir has begun
The Federal Government wants to stop kids from learning.
The federal government is asking Pennsylvania’s student-loan agency to repay as much as $15 million that officials say it received in excess loan subsidies over a two-year period.
It’s thought that they need the money back to help cover the pointless $600 tax rebates that might be coming up. Really, what is $600 going to do for someone? Most people We know outside of Our Congregation will use it on drugs and prostitutes.
In a press release, from his five-star resort in Europe, Dan Oronato complained that the rebate is being issued too soon because Pittsburgh’s Casino is not yet built. Oronato’s plan to lure people to spend their rebates by cashing their government checks at the casino is still only in its planning stages.
“The goal of course, ” said Oronato, “is to offer check cashing services for federal and state income tax refunds. We should have the operation ready to go for the May 2009 [casino] opening just as millions of Pennsylvanians (as well as Ohio and West Virginia residents) get their tax refunds. No cashing fee, nothing.”
In other oddities, a vehicle driven by a Clarion County woman was repeatedly rammed in Redbank early this morning by an SUV. Kathy Bates is wanted by Pennsylvania State Police for questioning.
In more important issues, as requested by the Congregation, I am currently pursuing applicants so that I may one day provide You all with an Heir to lead when my time comes to depart this rock. The search has been lackluster and I have yet to receive a response. I am looking for suggestions in my approach. The bar scene isn’t really my thing so it was suggested to be to try Craig’s List. I found a few potential ones:
Wrote “Yummy Mummy“:
Single, white, female seeks…….okay, thats lame……
How about this??????
Smart, sexy, confident, secure, finacial-emotionally and mentally stable, 34 year old single mother…..
Tall, Italian, dark curly hair, dark brown eyes, full pouty lips….
I’m into art, theatre, movies, traveling, reading, cooking, road trips, gambling…..very upbeat and outgoing.
It would be nice to find a man with some common interests, must be fun, witty, and an all around “good guy.”
Not looking to rush into a relationship…..also NOT looking for a one night stand, FWB, or hook up…..just someone who I enjoy spending time with…..who I look forward to seeing … Let’s just take it one day at a time and see what happens….no expectations….no lables…no drama….it is what it is….make sense?
Enough about me
It’s your turn….tell me about YOU!!!!
Your pic gets mine.
I respond:
I noticed your ad on Craig’s List. I’m writing because I’m interested. You say you’re yummy and I’m ready to believe you. Just like when you state you have a child.
How convenient.
I am currently looking for an heir. They just might do. My congregation has ruled that I must provide them with an heir. They will require guidance, instruction and discipline with smooth transition when the heir comes of age. With an iron fist they will rule and control those under them. Monuments will be built in our graven images and streets will be named. Secret campaigns will be held in our name to keep competition minimum. It will be glorious.
Therefore your own demon-spawn may work until you provide me with offspring of my own seed. It’s only fitting. Our lord and savior may require I make a sacrifice of him.
Please get back to me when you can with an answer. There are millions of lives at stake.
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