It’s Wednesday
I’ll start with a quick note to Everyone: Pirate Fest is not to be confused with Talk Like a Pirate Day or His Noodly Appendage’s most precious followers: Pirates. As a result, I encourage Us all to dress like the Dread Pirate Roberts anyway and attend Pirate Fest in hopes that they may hit .500.
One of Our sources in the County offices has reported that Dan “Tax” Oronato has been overheard yelling at subordinates by phone from Europe and claiming he’ll never speak to Post Gazette reporters again after today’s article about how ill-prepared the county is to deal with pathological gamblers.
“If you don’t ask, you don’t know,” Dr. Engel said of the gambling problem, which is generally easier to conceal than other addictions.
Oronato was overheard mocking Dr. Engel while he spoke from his hotel room to no one in particular. “That’s exactly the point, Engel - keep them blind to the consequences. C’MON!” Other rumored quotes from Oronato include such gems as: “Dammit! We need the social security money from seniors to pay for public transit, hopefully they can’t read the small print of the Post Gazette.” and “Get me Luke and tell him we may need yet another revenue source and get me a list of things that we don’t tax or aren’t taxed enough”
Oronato was also reported to have Googled for information on how to put up a toll booth at the Pennsylvania / West Virginia border on interstate 79 to keep compulsive gamblers at the North Side’s casino. Barden has not returned any correspondence in regards to Our status with the soon-to-open-maybe-in-2009-but-probably-delayed-because-of-unforseen-idiocy casino.
As a reminder: Travel for Us to West Virginia is not recommended since opposition groups are still a danger to Us when traveling to the Casino. This was supposed to be settled at the Summit of 2004, however some rogue groups who live out of congregations of trailers continue to ignore its accord. I should not need remind You all the damage that buckshot can cause Your person and / or vehicle.
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